Bah Humbug!

It's hard to believe it's almost Christmas.  It has really snuck up on me this year.  I was having a really hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year (strange for me, I usually break out the Christmas music Nov 1st at the latest).  Well, just before heading up north for Tay's follow up I had the thought that maybe some holiday music would help.  It did.  Me and Breah jammed out to "Santa Pause it" all the way up and I was really feeling quite jolly.  Then, although I had sworn off Christmas Decor for at least a year (I have a serious addiction) Nancy and I had to hit up Rod Works, not once, but TWICE.  I was good though and didn't buy a nativity.  I have vowed to only add one nativity each year to my collection, and this year it has to be either something really unique or homemade.  And since I'm cheap, I'm thinking it will have to be the latter.   I also found the perfect Christmas tree this year and was SOOOOOOOOOO excited to rush home and buy it with my bday money, only to find they had been recalled.  I wanted to cry.  I could have cried, I was that excited,  and was in fact very disappointed and pouty, but my sweet Breah was concerned that I was sad.  She told me in the most sweetest, most adorable voice, "Don't be sad for your Birthday!"  So I was strong.  I wiped the frown from my face and left with a smile. After all, it was one of the best birthday's I can remember,  and I wasn't about to let a stupid light recall ruin it!  

Today, however, is another day.  Breah and I have started getting the Christmas out, but that seems to be as far as I can get.   It's just out, adn it's a mess!  I refuse to get my old tree out of the attic.  It takes me days to string lights on it (thanks to my obsessiveness) and quite frankly I don't feel like wiring it all together this year.  I have the money to buy a new one, but I've waited 7 years to find a tree I liked well enough to spend it on, and so now I am debating whether or not to settle for a different one or wait and see if the one I love comes back?  If I settle this year just to have a tree will I regret it next year?  But in the meantime, how can I decorate for Christmas without a tree?   What I'd really like to do is get a real one, but then I would have to battle with lights and Tayven eating needles and vacuuming and watering and the guilt of killing a tree (ok, not really, but shouldn't I feel that way) and I would just be mad that I had a real tree and couldn't even smell it so what's the point? Plus I'd have to buy a stand, and it would never be straight and it would drive me insane.  Oh the drama...why do I have to be so difficult!