The Story...

So if you're reading this, you probably also read my complaints about cysts. And you've probably also heard that it turned out to be more than just a cyst. Of course, all this just reaffirms my theory that I'm unique and can't do anything simple, not even a miscarriage. If you're interested in the details and aren't afraid of a little TMI, then keep reading, it may, however, be too graffic for some. I think after having these experiences and giving birth I have no shame and none of this seems too personal, so I apologize if I offend or gross you out.
Thursday morning I woke up in an insane amount of pain, but the more I sat around the more it hurt. I was supposed to go walking with my friend Rachel and rather than cancel I decided to tae some drugs and tough it out. If nothing else it kept my mind off my troubles and got Breah out of the house! After walking for an hour we stopped at the park so the kiddos could play before heading home. By this point I decided I had probably done too much and should take it easy until I felt better. Of course when you need it most your kids don't cooperate adn Breah only took a 30 min nap, but she was pretty chill and let me rest while she played and then snuggled while we watched Baby Einstein. Once Brandon came home I hardly moved. The pain started to get really bad for a while, but then it sort of died down and I felt a little bit better, so I decided to get up and get some dinner (I hadn't eaten all day). When I stood up I knew I was in trouble as I felt the blood gushing. I ran to bathroom, cried, and made Brandon call the doctor. I assumed my cyst had ruptured and I wanted to make sure I wasn't in danger of something more serious. I left a message with the on call doctor, and he called me back shortly and said that unless I was worried about bleeding to death (in which case I would need to go to ER) I would be fine til morning. He assured me that it wasn't serious and that if I was still concerned in the morning that I could make an appointment. I made up my mind that I didn't want to be any more of a hypocondriac than I already was so I wouldn't panick and i'd wait and see what happened. Friday morning my doctor's nurse called to make sure I was ok. I told her I felt better but because it was friday she asked if I wanted perscription pain med called in incase it got bad over the weekend. I agreed, it would sure be nice to have some since what I had did nothing (remember how I'm paranoid about becoming addicted...well I don't like to keep them around after I don't need them so I got rid of what I had from both Breah's birth and my surgery, I think i'll hang on to these though). When she called back to tell me the doc had called them in she told me that he wanted me to take a pregnancy test. Whatever...I had already wasted 3 when I was 10 days late for my period. So on my way to the park (we drove) to meet some friends we took a detour to the dollar store to humor him. It was a beautiful day and I enjoyed getting out with my friend Angie for awhile but finally it was time for lunch. After lunch I put Breah down and decided it was as good a time as any to take that darn test. I did it and glanced at the one line, while thinking, gee I'm glad I only paid a dollar for that, and as I was about to toss it in the trash I noticed a faint second line. Panic! THat wasn't supposed to happen! So I watched to make sure I wasn't seeing things and it continued to get darker, definetly too lines! I called the dr and left a message assuming she would call right back. After an hour she still hadn't called, so I tried again, and again, and again. To kill time I started making some phone calls, but then Breah woke up. At least she could keep me company. I tried the dr one more time and the receptionist must have finally got on that I really needed to talk to someone so rather than putting me through to her voicemail she went and found the nurse. I told her I had a positive pregancy test and she told me to come in as soon as possibly. I called my friend Angie to watch Breah and then called Brandon, who met me there for the ultrasound. There was nothing to see, no obvious pregnancy so he told us it was one of two things. Either I had miscarried already and it was over and all was well, or, it was ectopic and too small to detect at this point. Then they drew my blood for a BHCG...I'm really good at those after having it done every week for six months...it came out to be 346...which is really low for a normal pregnacy at what point I would have been, but high in the case that I had already miscarried. Long story short, it wasn't normal for either scenario and I had to have 3 more tests until, finally, two weeks later, my doctor was convinced that I was no longer at risk. So, I still don't know what exactly happened, except that I am not pregnant any more. I'm ok with it most of the time. Perhaps because I mourned this one two weeks earlier when test after test came back negative, even though I was so sure it should have been positive (there again, with an ectopic the levels are lower and may not have been detectable yet, which is why I'm kind of convinced that's what really happened, not that it matters either way, I'm just funny about having an explanation for everything), and I never really had a chance to be like, "Yay! We're pregnant!" or maybe it's just easier because I've been through this before, and although the wait was long and miserable, she is well worth it and I would do it again and again (I pray I don't have to do it anymore, but I would if I had to). So anyway, there's the gorey details, and you don't have to feel awkward asking, trying to appease your curiosity, cuz there you have it! I'm feeling much better physically now, those first few days I was pretty sick but now I just feel it off and on when I'm out doing the things I normally do, nothing I can't live with!